you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
