The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
