She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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