The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
did you just send me my own nude
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
