Got a toothbrush?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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