Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
