she was so not down for the gang bang
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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