there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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