My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize