hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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