she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
it was like eating out sand paper
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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