some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He better not be in your backpack
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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