I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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