she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You may now shotgun with the bride
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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