your room smells of hookers.
And success
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
