She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize