If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
