If i come over, it means nothing
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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