Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
