Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
