pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
