i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
