If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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