Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
