I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
