weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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