so that wasnt chicken after all
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
