I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
