it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just want nice things and good sex
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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