He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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