i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
NoShamevember. You game?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
