Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize