i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
