I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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