i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
