ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
