You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
