I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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