We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize