woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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