And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
