God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize