Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
