According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize