At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You left your phone here
Wait...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
