i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
