You can't motorboat a personality
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
