So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
