My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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