when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
