everyone is single if you try hard enough
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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