I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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