I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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