this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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