I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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