Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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