So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
