Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
And then he peed in my hair
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