I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
