I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
