By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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