he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
