and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
