If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
