Three words: puerto rican gang bang
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize