I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
