I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
