when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
